Light in darkness – find the gift in the shadows

This time of year in the Northern Hemisphere, is a time of hibernation and regeneration, of taking stock and hunkering down for the dark days. Although many of us are busy with Christmas preparations, the natural urge is to slow down. It’s a time to go inside ourselves and reflect, regenerate, perhaps to dream up plans for the future. A time to plant the seeds ready to germinate in Spring. Although the leaves have left the trees, and many plants have died back, life continues.

In the heart of darkness, in the roots and central core of trees, hunkered down in our warm places, like a secret glowing ember, life continues holding hope for rebirth in Spring. Life in the dark months continues at its own slow pace. I feel it is important to feel the earth holding us, grounding us and supporting us. Now is a time to love and nurture ourselves – feel into our heart centres and fan the embers of those inner sparks to flames.

A traditional time of lighting candles and gathering around our hearths to keep warm, of telling stories of dark deeds and dreadful creatures to scare children. It is also the end of a year’s cycle, and a time to release and let go of old patterns.

I held a wonderful conscious connected breathwork session on this theme at the weekend, and it really brought home the importance of the gift of darkness at this time of year.

When darkness is utter and the days are at their shortest, things may seem bleak, it might even feel like the light will never return, like an end of life itself. Pessimism can descend. Our mood can take a dive, and our shadow selves emerge to whisper dark thoughts and sabotaging ideas with negative self talk eroding our self esteem and well-being. Old stories from childhood or our past may rise to the surface, some of these stories we’ve outgrown, there is very little truth to be found in the negative self talk stories.

Our shadows are those parts of us that we may hide, things that we might repress because they make us feel uncomfortable, sad or wounded. Especially at this time of year, I invite you to pour compassion into the shadows. Loving even our wounded selves can bring integration, wholeness and balance. If we can love our selves deeply, and compassionately, there is a real Christmas gift in the shadows.

I have witnessed that with the power of breathwork we can delve deep into ourselves and open to transformation. Embrace our inner demons and give ourselves permission to breath love deep into ourselves through dark days. We can find a gift in the shadows.

My invitation to you is to take care of yourselves in the darkness, to breathe, to pay attention to your physical and emotional needs, facing fears, shining conscious light on any uncomfortable patterns, finding time to love and care for ourselves, and ready ourselves to burst into action in the Spring.

Let us not shun the dark, nor our shadow sides, for there is healing and growth to be had from awareness of their presence. Let us embrace compassion for ourselves, and work through their gifts so that we may come to know the fullness of ourselves.

And … without the shadows and darkness we would not appreciate the light.

“Only in the darkness can you see the stars” Martin Luther King

If you missed the opportunity to undertake my breathwork on this last weekend, I’ve a 12 Breaths of Christmas offering coming up which you might enjoy. Check out my website for further details:

https://claredrury1.wixsite.com/hullistic

A Breath Beyond – growing a breathing Mystery School

Since May 2023 I have been holding sessions to develop a Breathing Mystery School called ‘A Breath Beyond’.

I’ve been leading group sessions embarking on a spiritual journey with breath with an expansive focus

To take a breath beyond – expanding to embrace the divinity within
To flow with the mystic, mythic and oceanic
To dance with the mythical and mystical – celestial and sacred

Expansion is where we meet mystery – where we open to the possibilities of things we can’t quite explain nor need to understand. Our magick.

When we practice conscious connected breathwork one of the common experiences is an opening up of consciousness and experiences of a spiritual nature. With CCB we are encouraged to trust the breath and to let the breathwork trigger whatever experience needs to arise – whatever that may be.

A Breath Beyond sets an foundation that supports breathing in a state of expansive consciousness – deliberately invoking a particular frequency of vibration, tuning into particular themes and frequencies for a focus in workshop, and then moving into CCB.

Breath science explains the physical – what is happening within our brain chemistry to trigger these experiences of altered states of consciousness, bringing a chemical understanding of what is happening within our bodies. The science of psychology explores the value of journeying with consciousness. Spiritual teachings of millennia have immense value to us, even if science removes some of the mystery and wonder. That’s why this is a mystery school …

When we experience expansiveness beyond our regular daily lives, I believe that we tap into something that is a deep part of the human experience, collective consciousness and human psyche which people have done since the dawn of our race. Within those experiences, over the course of millennia and through many cultures, particular frequencies of energetic vibrations have become associated with archetypes and ‘the mysteries’.

My aim with ‘A Breath Beyond’ is to breath with an intention to expand consciousness and tap into the gifts of of archetypes which have their roots in many cultures, originating in the sacred and spiritual.

Sessions are respectful of belief systems, but not religious. The focus is on invoking a specific frequency of energetic vibration that’s tuned to a particular archetype. In altered states we can tap into energies at particular frequencies and have experiences of connecting to our own sparks of divinity, to Deities, Angels, Ascended Masters and mythical creatures.

These connections have inspired religious beliefs and have grown from very real experiences of connecting to those vibrational frequencies within altered and expansive states of being. They are experienced as very real for many of us. When we open ourselves, expand our awareness, connect to our own divine spark we truly embody who we really are and can have incredibly profound positive, healing and transformational experiences.

There are many gifts of wisdom and healing to experience through exploring these ‘mysteries’ and that is what we journey with in this breathing mystery school. I’ve led an exploration of the sacred, spiritual and magickal – seeking connection to what Sigmund Freud described as the consciousness of the ‘oceanic’.

Feedback about these sessions – and the impact of the monthly container with each archetype – has been amazing. Please join me if you are interested in taking this journey together. Our next archetype to explore is the Welsh Goddess Cerridwen from 12 October, as well as exploring her story, her gift of rebirth we will seek gifts from her magic cauldron of knowledge. I’m really excited to bring forth the archetype of a Goddess indigenous to the UK, so rooted in our landscape.

I hope you will join me to connect with this powerful mother archetype for our next session on Tuesday 10 October – 4pm-5:30pm (recorded for those who can’t make it live).

Book your place for A Breath Beyond via Eventbrite

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/a-breath-beyond-a-breathing-mystery-school-tickets-628602014547?

or contact me direct.

Retreat and give voice

Sharing the symbiosis of breath, voice and energy – reflecting on my ‘Give Voice’ workshop, on retreat in rural Bedfordshire.

At the beginning of June I had the privilege to deliver a voice workshop a the Breathing Space Breathwork Retreat Festival near Cambridge. A gathering of beautiful souls in an exquisite rural location, with gardens and meadows tended lovingly by our hosts. The energies of the place were so lovely even before we started to breathe in the spaces. We were blessed with sunny weather and I was delighted to meet in person so many people that I’ve met online through my training and breathing with Breathing Space.

As I was doing my last minute preparation a colleague from Breathing Space told me that they were in fear around their voice: That singing was a very big challenge for them. This is very familiar to me as I encounter this all the time within my group singing work. Many people are trapped by judgement about their voices, it’s a very exposing thing to open up and ‘give voice’. It is therefore really important, as a workshop leader, to hold people with love, to coax people into exploring voices gently and to make it understood that everything is welcome and perfect in the moment, without judgement.

I was quite surprised to hear anxiety around voice coming from someone who is highly confident and a breathwork superstar. It was a timely reminder to me that we simply cannot assume that everyone is comfortable with their voice and the importance of feeling gently into vulnerability. That is where working with the breath is so very helpful.

This confirmed for me the importance of easing into vocal expression by first deepening our connection to breath. The breath is the foundation of everything – we cannot make vocal sounds without it. Try emptying your lungs and making a vocal sound … it’s almost impossible.

My workshop had been in preparation for months, my workshops inevitably spend time preparing our bodies and voices to sing, with breathing as a foundation … and laughter and ice-breaking fun as I normally do. I had also assembled a sparkling array of songs that celebrated breath – from some old favourites, rounds and chants, to some new compositions of my own – including a Breathing Space Anthem in 4 part harmony.

You never know who might turn up to a workshop like this – I wondered if people would as the theme of the weekend was breath – not voice! You have to be prepared to meet people where they are at with their voices … to read a group … listen and watch and sense the collective energy. It requires presence and the same skill we utilise in breathworks … being present in the felt sense of our bodies. At the same time as being in the moment, my approach is to be prepared with a vast selection of material that you can choose what needs to come at the right time – making those on-the-spot decisions about what is needed in the circle.

I was delighted as my Saturday afternoon slot approached to see people gathering in our Festival Marquee … a viable number of voices that wouldn’t be too exposing for individuals … and a very welcome smattering of male voices in the mix. It was lovely to see a couple of people who I knew were experienced singers and also at least one person who I knew had anxiety around their voice.

I broke the ice by collapsing my music stand (unintentional, but an opportunity to introduce humour from the start) … and in a slight fluster I took a breath and went into channeling mode. I went completely off script saying “Friends, breathers, breathworkers, lend me your voices” … an awful spur of the moment distortion of that famous speech in Shakespeare’s ‘Julius Caesar’. I cringed inside, but laughed out loud at the ludicrousness and the ice was broken.

In the run up to my workshop slot, we had been connecting to our breath in various sessions with depth and intensity. I drew in strands of our learning as I invited people to come into presence with their breath, to connect to their bodies and feel into what was happening inside themselves. When we breathe together in a group we come into a state of coherence. I feel this is even more so when we add the extra ingredient of sound and ‘give voice’ – and that’s exactly what happened. After breathing we went into laughter, connecting to our diaphragm and adding familiar vocal sounds. Then we moved into hums and single vowel sounds … (anyone that has worked with me will be familiar with that). I invited those in the session to create that sound that’s never been heard – all our unique voices joined together in concert on a simply ‘Ooo’. It was a beautiful moment – a sweet collective sound with the group coming into unity.

I then planned a little surprise moment. I led participants into an exploration of vowels, using breath to support our sounds and enjoying resonance. Then we had a collective ‘Om’ incorporating all those vowels in a slow transition from ‘Ah’ through ‘O’ to ‘ooo’ and ‘mmm’. There was delight in the room at this sound. Combining breath, presence and intention to connect in unity brought a very special energy to our ‘Om’. With this, we created an energy vortex in the middle of our circle … spiralling upwards and out into the grounds and countryside around us. A moment of pure magic and delight.

I then led the group into an exploration of harmony – and that is where voice can really take our experience to another level. Putting sound vibration into our bodies is wonderful, being surrounded by other voices as we give voice increases the effect, but adding harmony into that is a recipe for transformation. I shared some simple chants and rounds to make harmony happen. I love how quickly you can achieve harmony and polyphony with a simple round.

One of my own compositions – which was a slightly upbeat ditty evoked such joy, that the group wanted to reprieve it at the end. I gathered the singers into a tight group, introduced movements and led a joyful three part repeat of the song. It was delightful to see such joy in the space … sassy hip movements and all. The group had trusted me, had accepted my invitation to set aside judgement, bring presence, and we became a choir in that moment (with choir choreography!).

They called this the Breathing Space Anthem … it was not the Anthem I’d written for the occasion … I never got to share that. But it was perfect in the moment and participants left the session high as kites. We even captured it on film! I loved delivering this work in this setting. I loved the willingness of the group to go with what I was sharing – their openness to my words and what I had to share was delightful and our experience was deep connection and joy.

Our retreat Goddess organiser was glowing afterwards and confirmed that I am good at this work (my Breathing Space colleagues had never seen me doing my voicework thing and I think it was a bit of an eye-opener to see this side of my work). I was so glad to have brought this magic symbiosis of breath, voice and energy to our weekend. It’s wonderful to be able to share my three passions and weave them together in a little under ninety minutes. Thank you, Breathing Space, for the opportunity and a wonderful weekend retreat festival. I hope they will invite me back for next year’s retreat in that magical place.

Tapping the creative juice of May Day and kindling the Beltane fires

Breathing a Mystery School or A Breath Beyond

This time of year is highly creative for me and I’m about to launch a breathwork workshop series that I’ve been nurturing over the winter months. I’m almost at the launch stage and excited to share my plans which are filling me with the joys of spring this May day.

I’m planning a breathwork workshop series to explore a spiritual journey with breath

To take a breath beyond – expanding to embrace the divinity within
To flow with the mystic, mythic and oceanic
To dance with the mythical and mystical – celestial and sacred
To empower participants in body, mind and spirit

When we practice conscious connected breathwork one of the common experiences is an opening up of consciousness and experiences of a spiritual nature. Breath science explains what is happening within our brain chemistry to trigger these experiences of altered states of consciousness, bringing a chemical understanding of what is happening within our bodies. The science of psychology explores the value of journeying with consciousness. Spiritual teachings of millennia that encapsulate archetypes and mythologies have immense value to us. I feel that even if science removes some of the mystery and wonder by explaining how we might have a spiritual experience, these ‘mysteries’ still hold a wealth of wisdom and opportunities for personal growth and healing.

When we experience expansiveness beyond our regular daily lives , I believe that we tap into something that is a deep part of the human experience, collective consciousness and human psyche which people have done since the dawn of our race. Within those experiences, over the course of millennia and through many cultures, particular frequencies of energetic vibrations have become associated with archetypes and ‘the mysteries’. The workshop sessions I’m planning tap into the sacred and spiritual, are respectful of belief systems and wisdom, but are not religious.

It is my belief that our human brains are incapable of grasping concepts of fine tuned frequencies of energetic vibration in their pure form, so we personify them, creating archetypes that embody those traits. In altered states we tap into energies at particular frequencies and have experiences of connecting to our own sparks of divinity, to Deities, Angels, Ascended Masters and mythical creatures. These connections have inspired religious beliefs and have grown from very real experiences of connecting to those vibrational frequencies within altered and expansive states of being. They are experienced as very real for many of us. When we open ourselves, expand our awareness, connect to our own divine spark we truly embody who we really are and can have incredibly profound positive, healing and transformational experiences.

There are many gifts of wisdom and healing to experience through exploring these ‘mysteries’ and I am called to create a series of breathwork workshops that take participants on a journey with the breath and archetypes. In this breathing mystery school I will lead an exploration of the sacred, spiritual and magickal – seeking connection to what Sigmund Freud described as the consciousness of the ‘oceanic’. I will invite participants to join this respectful journeying with the gifts of these archetypes, to help explore the inner and expand the connection to the divine.

I can feel the creative fire of this offering – it’s a strong calling – but there is so much inspiration coming through that I have reached an impasse with the over-arching title. I’m experiencing a pendulum swing between ‘Breathing a Mystery School’ and ‘A Breath Beyond’. Let me know if you have an opinion!

Whatever I decide you will be invited to join me on this journey of deep exploration.

Each online session will:

Connect with the vibration of an archetype, Goddess, God, mythical being, Deva or Angel.
Connect in breath and consciousness to expand into the celestial realms and explore the ‘oceanic’ feelings of connecting to the divine, mythical and mysterial.
Seek to activate the divine spark within us, supported by conscious connected breathwork.

Heart centred sessions will tap into the gifts of each theme through:

Guided visualisation and meditation combined with breathwork
Energetic connection to tune into particular vibrational frequencies
Elements of personal ceremony and ritual to help expand awareness
Journalling, Mantra and Mudra to support the journey.

Underpinned with a strong connection to the divine feminine, the archetypal energies explored in each session will be drawn from eclectic wisdom across various different cultures and belief systems – tapping into the gifts of diverse mysteries to support a process of self exploration and personal development.

Every session will be supported by the collective vibrations of various overlighting archetypes that we will work with during these workshops. I’m feeling that the vibrations of Archangel Michael, Metatron, Djwhal Khul, Mary Magdalen, Ganesh, Gaia, Quan Yin and Archangel Raphael will be regular contributors to overlight every session.

Sessions will flow with the energies of the wheel of the year, with key themes illuminated by the wisdom of connection to nature and the seasons. Archetypes associated with the seasons will be invoked at different times of the year, for example: Persephone and her mother Demeter, Saraswati, Freya, Hecate, Innana, Brigid, Venus, The Green Man, Oak King and Holly King, Ceres, Hathor, Isis and Bast. The journey will unfold through intuition and sensitivity to support the needs of participants and may also explore wisdom through connection to the energies of mythical creatures such as Dragons and Unicorns.

It’s my plan to commence sessions in May 2023 with a Mary Magdalen theme, as she’s been very present for me recently, and I’m looking at the following time slot to get a fit with the programme of varied breathwork offerings of Breathing Space:

4pm-5:30pm (UK time) second Tuesday in the month*

£6 per individual session or £5 per session if booked in a block of 4.

Each session will be recorded to be accessible to all participants as an ongoing resource.

*Dates may fluctuate from time to time

Participants will be encouraged to continue their own journey with each archetype during the month. To keep journalling and returning to the breathwork recordings and reflecting on their journey ready for the next session. Charting a personal path through progress, barriers, light bulb moments and illuminating shadows along the way.

Do let me know if this is something you’d like to be involved with.

Breathing in presence

One of the most powerful things about breathwork is how it brings you into focus and presence in the now. A focus on your breath can bring you into deep connection with yourself. The concentration allows you to let go of intrusive thoughts, and to take time to be completely present in the moment. Of course sometimes thoughts of past or future creep in, but you are encouraged to let go, and be present in your body – to allow the breath to take charge of your being in the present moment. This is a blissful place to let go and just breathe.

My life was changed by reading ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle (I’m sure readers will be aware of his work – and if not, I highly recommend getting familiar). He eloquently explores a truth that I already knew, but had not articulated for myself: the idea that we can’t change the past, that we can’t predict the future, so all that we can consciously influence is the present moment. How liberating it is to know that, and to try to live from that place.

I have recently experienced the loss of a beloved, and it brought home to me how precious every moment of life is. How important it is to find the power of the moment, and live life to the full. Life is short, and every moment is precious.

Bringing presence in ourselves, and particularly to interactions with others is where the magic happens – it’s where we connect consciously with who we are, and are able to merge with all that is. It’s how a good facilitator is able to respond to the needs of their participants, and bring what it needed in the moment.

Being in the moment is important, in fact for me, it is vital for me as a facilitator of any work with groups of people, in whatever context. However, I feel that it would be doing others a dis-service if I turned up to deliver a session – breathwork or singing or healing or training – without having planned in advance. It’s a safety net to ensure I’m confident in having a framework to whatever is going to unfold, and to deliver on expectations regarding the offer. At the same time, I am fully prepared to ‘read the room’, feeling into what needs to be brought forward in the moment, and to let go of pre-conceived ideas of what’s going to happen.

Many times in a choir context I have planned a session in advance, learning material, pulling together ideas for how a session will flow from one activity to another, organising a flow of music that’s balanced and pitched right for who I’m anticipating to be in workshop – and then on the morning I’ll get a song in my head that I needs to be sung, or I get in the room and see there’s a particular need to devote time to a particular technique or someone has had an experience that needs to be celebrated or explored in song. My choir bag is always over-flowing with material to be able to respond in the moment. Sometimes, when I’m ultra brave, intuition takes over completely and improvisation comes to the fore. And yes … those times are the most magical and fulfilling for all involved.

That’s when I do my best work … in presence in the moment, I know that’s where my magic happens.

So, there is a little dance to do as a facilitator in planning a breathwork session – a dance between planning in advance and bringing presence and being in the moment as you hold space and transmit whatever is needed in the now. As part of that ‘dance’, I have a habit of ‘tuning in’ engaging my mystical time travel tools to project into the future and feel into what might be appropriate in a future moment. Often I have been surprised at how well that has worked – intuition can be so powerful – and it’s not clear why a theme needs to be explored until you are in the actual moment and the reason becomes apparent. Something like that happened around the Queen’s death … I had no idea why I needed to bring forth an early morning session on loss, and protection against being drawn into a collective hysteria – but it came through clearly, and when I heard the news, the penny dropped!

However, sometimes a niggle of doubt creeps in to sabotage that intuitive sense, and I just can’t seem to feel into what might be needed in the future. At those times my logical egoic brain takes over and sends me off to research for a theme. This is currently leading me in a merry dance, and it’s so funny I wanted to share my process with you.

I have been given a date to run a Breathing Space online session on Thursday 9 March 2023. Projecting forward I can sense that we are at a point of anticipating Spring, leaving Winter behind, it will be 3 days after a powerful last full moon of Winter – the Worm Moon – but although I can sense there’s a vibrancy in there, it didn’t call to suggest a particular theme for me. I am immersed in activity for International Women’s Day which falls the day before (and I’m running a singing workshop celebrating women and sisterhood on 11 March) – but that also doesn’t quite feel right for a breathwork on 9th. I can sense that there will be a vibrancy about that time, but nothing more specific has jumped out.

So I turned to Google for inspiration – and Google tells me that 9 March 2023 is:

World Kidney Day;

Popcorn Lovers Day;

National Meatball Day (USA);

International Get Over It Day;

Panic Day (USA);

and National Barbie Day (USA).

What an absolutely hilarious combination of themes … no wonder my intuitive feeling into that day is baffled right now. Having seen these I laughed out loud – I am really amused and bemused. My own sense of playfulness and humour is tempting me to run the ‘Get over the Kidney Popcorn Meatball Barbie Panic’ session. It would be ludicrous and as probably as diverse as the group of people who come along to breath with me.

AND maybe that is precisely it … The perversity of that list is the Universe trying to tell me not to over plan. I just need to offer presence, a lovingly held space as normal, and be open to whatever people need to bring with their breath. I welcome a session that needs to be completely playful, lovingly in the moment, and with participants open to whatever people bring to the session – and let’s ‘get over it’!

Maybe I’ll see you there, and let’s see what unfolds in the powerful moments we’ll share.

Breathing the legacy of our Ancestors

For many years I have felt a call to offer work with our ancestors. This weekend sees my next offering that weaves together strands of interest, awareness and experience for a unique approach to working with the legacy of our forebears.

I see this work as a chance to delve deep into our identities, to release old patterns, to break cycles that no longer serve us, and also to value traits that have been passed down to us from generations and past selves.

I’ve been fascinated by ancestry for many years and have pursued an interest in genealogy since the age of 10. My grandparents were absent in my childhood, and I felt a desire to know about my origins, where I’d come from. My parents compensated by telling me stories of our extended family and yet it was not until my Nana moved back to the UK when I was 14 that I got a real sense of that family legacy. In interacting with her for the first time, I saw elements of myself reflected in her, in my behaviours and mannerisms, and that fascinated me because that was not something I’d thought to inherit through DNA. I was, in turn, interested in hearing stories of her parents, wondering what my inheritance from them would be.

The legacy of our ancestors is not just about our genes, or DNA (apparently I’m the spitting image of my great grandmother Lily). It is also about behaviours and beliefs that are passed down through generations – whether that happens through genetics (is there a nurturer gene) or through learned behaviours and attitudes.

We carry with us the legacy of 7 generations of our ancestors – that is 254 people’s issues, beliefs, behaviours and traits that feed into our own being. Within that there will be many challenges and karmic issues that we have in common – perhaps issues around poverty, violence, exploitation that carry forward into the challenges in our own lives. There will also be many blessings that come through our ancestors – nurturing, loving, service etc. which help to mold how we are in the world.

My father had an angry and violent father, whose father had been angry and violent, as was his father before him. Although he had anger issues, my dad was able to break the cycle of violence. He became a house husband and took on the mother role in my life as my mum became the bread winner in our house, and this enabled him to break free from a family pattern. So a big part of my father’s legacy for me is the knowledge that we can break patterns of behaviour.

I wonder how far that legacy stretched before the pattern was broken.

Of course, we also carry forward wonderful traits from our ancestors. When tracing my family tree, I was delighted to find a shared interest in herbs with a great great ancestor on my mother’s side, who was a medicinal herbalist – my mum remembered her being an “apothecary”. I was absolutely thrilled to find a picture of her in our old family photos, outside their medicinal herbalist shop.

What a treasure old photos can be.

As well as our physical ancestry we have the legacy of past lives – of the karma that we carry from one incarnation to another. This gives us another dimension of legacy to explore, and through tapping into a sense of what is held in the Akashic records, we can discover another level of learning about ourselves, our lessons, and our legacy which we bring to the present.

A few years ago I worked with lovely friend Linda King to develop an Ancestors vibrational essence. By taking this ancestral essence into our bodies, we can dive even deeper to gain understanding of ourselves. I’m adding this to my toolkit for working with the legacy of our ancestors.

So the legacy can have two faces – and I’m drawn to develop workshops with breathwork, cacao, meditation and vibrational essence, to work with our ancestors. I’m offering workshops to shine a light on challenging issues, and celebrate our blessings – and of course the foundation of this work is deep self love. The first of those workshops is this Sunday – and I’m really excited to finally pull these various strands together.

Do get in touch if you’d like to share this journey with me.

https://claredrury1.wixsite.com/hullistic

Imbolc perched on a frosty blade

Imbolc perched on a frosty blade – breathing with that uncertain and shifting transition from Winter to Spring

In the bleakness of cold winter, we long for warmth. We might feel the inner urge to hunker down and hibernate in the darkness, and with that can come a bleakness and a longing for return of light. We know the season will turn, that the days will get longer again, but we can teater poised on a knife blade of frost easily tipped from hope of spring’s thaw back to the bleakness of winter’s harsh ice.

Change is happening around us, in the northern hemisphere. We’ve had a mild winter, the sap has started to rise as the bark on the orchard trees shifts colour, and early snowdrops emerge from the ground to bloom as the harbingers of Spring. We may feel inspired to raise our heads with hope and re-enter the world full of energy and enthusiasm to create our next moves in life’s game. However, we’re not quite in Spring yet and some days feel as wintery and bleak as the darkest days of winter. The dullness of light reflects our inner mood. and all we want to do is hide under a blanket and forget all thoughts of activity and creation in the year ahead.

This in-between half time of transition can make us feel fragile, a little unstable in our moods, as we swing shift from one state to the next. One day can be full of hope and joy as we see the early signs of spring, as sunlight breaks through the clouds and cheers us. The next day can seem bleak as a chill wind blows wet and cold, battering our homes and shaking branches down in the woodlands.

Our inner emotional landscape can reflect this fluctuation of transition between the joys of spring and the darkness of winter. A pendulum swinging between extremes of joy and hope, sadness and grief, movement and stagnation. Sometimes that feels unstable, unsettiling and in extremes deeply disturbing. However, we have a certainly that the light will return, that the earth will warm, and we can take heart from the early signs of life’s return after a barren winter. In our heart of hearts we know that hope is well founded and the light will return. I invite you to breath with that transition and with that certain hope of spring’s return.

Transitions come in many forms in our lives – not just with the seasons. We transition between states of being, shifting patterns of behaviour, with work, with responsibilities, with relationships and with our bodies. Many of us are in a transition period from pandemic – recovering from illness – returning to once familiar routines – testing the waters of what was once familiar, but is now a little strange. These transitions, changes, uncertainties can feel unstable and unsettling. But like the return of Spring they can be opportunities for growth and chances to create new patterns, to grow and shift as life inevitably does … grow and shift.

Whatever you are experiencing at this time, let the breath help to stabilise and support whatever transition is happening for your life. Trust the breath to support you and tap into the innate wisdom of your body – connect to your inner core that stable part of you that remains untouched by transition shifts. We can trust in the breath’s power to bring forth whatever it is that we need right now in the moment – to shift into the next steps on our shifting path.

This is my inspiration for a conscious connected breathwork I’m leading for Breathing Space this week. The breath is so helpful for finding our stablility in shifting times of transition, whether that’s of seasons, or events in our lives. Sometimes we just need to breathe. Get in touch if you want to breathe with this.

Breath, creativity and trauma release

Over the last 18 months, I’ve been combining a practice of daily cacao and breathwork. I’ve discovered that one of the primary gifts of both cacao and breathwork is providing a boost to creativity. It has been delightful to find that conscious connected breathwork brings this gift, and I’ve received inspiration and creative insight as a result. What a powerful combination and stimulating journey. My experience of combining the two practices has brought mental clarity and vision beyond what I’d normally experience from day to day. I am thrilled to say that I’ve been stimulated to tap deeply into my creativity.

Creativity is something that has been ever present for me in life, but was most prevalent in childhood. As I moved into adulthood my creativity started to shut down, and I had to make a concerted effort to find ways to express my creative urge. I think some of that was perhaps related to periods of trauma and emotional challenges as I grew up. That will be a familiar story for many I’m sure.

Later in my life, during a period of depressive illness, I was encouraged to find ways to express myself creatively and this was a key to finding personal healing. I hauled out all my half completed projects – embroideries, knitting, sewing, writings and paintings and got great pleasure in completing them, and moved on to new projects as my creative flow returned. As I reconnected to the flow of my creative juices, I was inspired to create more. I moved away from the black dog of depression, and was able to reconnect with my emotions and my heart connection. I found the whole process very healing, and it convinces me that creativity comes from the heart and creative expression is vital to our health.

I’ve realised that when faced with strong emotions, and trauma, there is a natural tendency to avoid those feelings, to shut down the creative flow and go into the head. Our logical monkey egoic mind takes over, and we retreat from big feelings and strong emotions, as we might withdraw from being burned by touching something hot.

I am fascinated by the inter-relationship and inter-play of breath and cacao in healing trauma and the relationship of creativity to our healing, as well as healthy self expression.

I was interested to read a theory expressed by Hollywood film producer, Barnet Bain, in Dan Brule’s book ‘Just Breathe’ that backs up some of my own experience.

“When there’s too much aliveness in the body, we evacuate the building. When feelings in the body become too strong, we abandon ship and take up residence in the head. Creativity is not born in the head; it comes as a gift from beyond. It’s a heart thing. It’s an emotional thing. It’s a feeling thing. And so in the process of avoiding intense feelings, we cut ourselves off from the body, and therefore our creativity. The solution is to get back in touch with the body, to connect with feeling and there is only one way to do that; breathing. Breathing is the whole deal!”.*

* From ‘Just Breathe’ by Dan Brule, Ch 3, Breathing to Transform Your Mind p 103

We probably all experience trauma at some stage in our lives, and some trauma is just too big to deal with at the time. The residue can get locked into our bodies, and we can get triggered into re-experiencing feelings associated with trauma at other times in our lives – leading to irrational fears, panic attacks, anxiety or even more severe symptoms and dissassociation.

Trauma is a huge area and not to be treated lightly. One thing which drew me to breathwork is that it offers a way to deal with trauma in a gentle but deeply effective way. Breathing with the memory of trauma in a safe and held environment offers a wonderful way to release and find healing. If in a breathwork we encounter a release of emotion, we can feel that emotion without the attachment of a traumatic story, and release it with our breath. The power of the breath can help to unlock residue of emotional trauma locked in our bodies, and through using the breath we are able to re-experience the echoes of trauma locked inside or perhaps in our bodies and receive the blessing of healing. Gradually reducing the impact in a safe held space.

So my reflection on creativity is that it gets shut down by traumatic experiences, and by opening up to deal with trauma, we also open up to our creativity. So for me, unlocking trauma and unlocking creativity go hand in hand on the healing journey. It’s led me to profound experiences, and deep healing, and I hope to be able to share some of those gifts with others.

Health Warning … Taking the breath for granted

I am constantly in awe of the power of breath – it is so simple, and so under-valued. It is shocking how many of us do not harness the power of our breath – and the implications of that are far reaching.

We breathe approximately 18 times per minute, 1,080 times an hour and 25,920 times a day. We breathe automatically without having to think about it, and so many of us dismiss the breath, and get into bad habits like shallow breathing, and lose lung capacity. When we do so we overlook the potential of our breath to impact our lives, to improve our health and life expectancy, to help us to deal with emotional challenges, to open us up to creativity, and to expand our awareness and consciousness.

I’m very glad that as a singer and choir leader, I have breath awareness, and some discipline around diaphragmatic breathing for which I’m very grateful, but studying breathwork has really opened my eyes (and lungs), and I have found it fascinating to explore breath in greater depth in the course of my studies.

Do we dismiss the power of breath because our bodies breathe automatically? I’ve been reading about some cultures where the breath is revered and highly valued – where illness is rare, health and vitality are the norm, and utilising the power of breath is trained into people from an early age. Of course Yogis have practiced breathing techniques for centuries and there are numerous yoga breaths which support our health on different levels.

Reading ‘Breath’ by James Nestor, I was fascinated to read about a 19^th century artist named George Caitlin, who spent time with the Plains Indians of America, documenting the lives of 50 Native American tribes at the height of their culture. Although the tribes differed in many ways, they all shared healthy bodies and what he described as superhuman physical human characteristics – tall, broad shouldered, barrel chested with perfect teeth. He noted that they valued breathing through the nose, believing that disciplined breathing was the secret to health. Mothers of infants were observed to encourage nasal breathing, gently closing babies mouths after feeding, and whilst watching over them sleeping. Caitlin adopted the practice of nose breathing, and attributed his long life (he lived to be 76 years old, which was double the normal life expectancy of his peers) to the practice of nose breathing. I highly recommend Nestor’s book for anyone interested in discovering the hidden science behind ancient breathing practices.

It is not so obvious to our Western culture that breath holds a key to many health issues. Perhaps our reliance on alopathic medicine and drugs has distracted us from what is literally right under our noses? The power of breath is not just some flakey new age idea, it is ancient and revered, and contemporary scientific study supports how breath holds a key to vital health.

It may not be mainstream in our western culture, but nose breathing is advocated today for many reasons, and the practice of taping the mouth closed at night to retrain breath patterns is widely documented. I have consciously shifted my breathing to nose breathing at night, and feel that I get a better quality of sleep as a result. I’ve not resorted to taping my mouth closed as yet … but if I catch myself mouth breathing at night I may try it!

As part of my Breathwork Facilitator training, I have adopted a daily practice of breathwork since January 2020 … simple and achievable … and I have found this really helpful in sustaining my body. I’ve also undertaken a Conscious Connected Breath on a weekly basis since January, which I feel has also benefited me in many ways. I’ve found that during times of stress and emotional challenge the breath has been invaluable in helping me to cope with strong emotions and to support my own emotional and mental health and well-being in what’s been a very challenging year. I recently undertook a 28 day Breathwork challenge, exploring the power of breathing with a hearth centered intention and opening to deep spiritual connection. So now, without question, whenever I feel any sense of anxiety or overwhelm, the first tool I turn to is my breath.

I’m such a convert to the power of breath I have committed to further study with Breathing Space, and signed up to their Mentor programme to continue to learn and also to support others in learning about the power of breath and breathwork. I am on a mission and will no longer take the breath for granted.

Into the Labyrinth

Exploring breath in the heart of the labyrinth

Labyrinths have fascinated humans for millenia, evidenced by spiral symbols traced by ancestral hands in many ancient cultures. Some of the oldest labyrinths are over 4,000 years old. Labyrinth forms have been used as symbols, as tools for walking meditation, for rituals and ceremonies. Thay have become synonymous with mystery, pilgrimage, mindfulness and even heroic quest. They are tools for psychological and spiritual development and transformation, stimulating right-brain activity. Not to be confused with the maze where one might get lost with confusing twists and turns, and blind alleys, you won’t get lost in the labyrinth, as the path always leads inwards to a central point, and retracing your steps it leads safely out again.

Over centuries the forms of labyrinths have become ever more complex, leading to the Chatres shape and it’s descendants, where paths meandre in complex forms. Even in these complex patterns the path leads inwards to a central point, and then back out again.

Even in it’s most simple form – the spiral, it calls us to make a journey to the centre. The centre of a vortex, spiralling inwards. As we observe a spiral form our eyes are drawn to the centre. It calls us to make a journey inwards to our own centre. So this is a powerful tool to take us on a journey deep into our inner world, our personal centre, towards the core of our beings. It gives our mind a focus, a distraction for the monkey mind as we follow a path, enhances our right-brain activity as we explore.

I have been fascinated by the spiral form since childhood. Fascinated by the perfection of the geometry, especially when found in nature in so many forms – from the curled leaves of ferns, the chambered spirals of shells, fossilised Ammonites and the vortex passage of water down a plughole, to forms on a grander scale like the spiralling galaxies of stars.

A few years ago, I worked with artist Linda King, who creates wonderful temporary labyrinths in nature, and in our Amatesh workshop offerings we combined voice and energy work with the labyrinth form. What that work resulted in was what I can only call ‘magic’, such a healing and transformational experience for all involved. It confirmed for me the profound power of working with the labyrinth form, especially the spiral.

When I walk a labyrinth I like to journey inward, and with focused intent often experience a life review … as I tread mindfully back in time. That was a key ingredient of the Amatesh work, revealing and clearing burdens of past trauma, with some dipping into past life experiences – clearing within the labyrinth and leaving unhelpful burdens behind. We also called in benevolent ancestors and guides for support and for me it felt that we walked with the ancestors in this ancient pattern, as many of them will have walked the labyrinth path before us.

I am now drawn to offer conscious breathwork in the labyrinth – to support a really deep inner journey experience. A breathwork facilitator’s role is to create and hold a space, and trust that whatever comes up in the breath is exactly what is needed in the moment. I am excited to explore creating and holding the labyrinth space, and facinitating breathing at the heart centre of this sacred space.

Initially this is an online offering, with guided visualisation, but I’m exploring the possibility of breathing in a physical labyrinth space when we are allowed to resume being in physical proximity with people in due course. I hope the labyrinth is calling to you too, and that you will join me in that sacred space to breathe in the heart of the labyrinth.